Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Prisoner of love

Prisoner of Love by Utada Hikaru,theme song of Last Friends. Combination of Last Friends opening and incomplete MV of the song.

Monday, April 28, 2008

sleepless night

Reading too much will make you feel like writing one yourself. Yeah, a vague storyline shaped in my head,but I won't write it,no i don't think I'm ready for it yet.

A murderer would never understand what did the victim felt. The pain,the struggle,the powerless, when the murderer took the last breath out of her. Only the victims know how it feels like.
A murderer would never understand the victim,unless she becomes a victim herself.
Have you watch 'Boys don't cry'? Victim and murders. A murderer ain't to be in human form.

I thought I'm fully recovered. No I'm not,the new scar still hurt when i tear off the plaster. And I know I'll be fine,as long as I left the wound untouched.

Friday, April 25, 2008

网说

曾经,我也因为作了一个关于出柜的梦,吓得哭着醒来。

出柜,对大多数的‘自己人’来说,都是一个恶梦。我们或许承受得起外界的压力,不在乎别人的眼光,可是对于家里的父母,就是没办法坦诚。由古至今,很多对恩爱的到最后因为得不到家里的谅解不得已不能在一起。而在恋爱过程中也是要战战兢兢,为见对方一面还得要费尽心思来骗造谎言,一篇又一篇,累。

谈恋爱本来就累,男女、男男或女女。一样会有情侣间会有的问题存在,一样会有两个人生活上的问题存在,只是或许我们会遇到比较多阻碍,比较多困难。

看乔爷写的文,总会产生共鸣。乔爷,就是我link那个写文达人——乔拉。

看网上小说断断续续看了两年,第一篇看的是《蓝山》,结果迷上了网说,也迷上咖啡。当然,不是普通小说,是‘自己人’的小说。一开始是在论坛看的,后来跟帖跟到中国的天涯网站里面的一路同行。
另一篇印象深刻的就是link里我的偶像——xyqw的《爱在泉城一》《爱在泉城二》。还有其他在一路同行里的故事,不过不是很记得了。乔爷是我从天涯追踪到她个人部落格,然后再追踪到她的文集。她写的文都很有趣,每个故事的主角偶尔还会穿插到其他故事里去客串一下,而且文中的t尽诉说了t的心声,虽然现实中的t没有那么幸福。

这算是看别人的爱情故事来填饱自己空虚的心灵吗?其实看着别人的爱情圆满,自己也会很满足,真的。

奇怪的是,每个小说里的主人翁t都是差不多170cm的高度...我那个纳闷啊~~

我不介意等待,只希望你会是我寻找中的另一半灵魂。

Friday, April 18, 2008

过眼云烟


不要谈什么分离
我不会因为这样而哭泣
那只是昨夜的一场梦而已

不要说愿不愿意
我不会因为这样而在意
那只是昨夜的一场游戏

那只是一场游戏一场梦
虽然你影子还出现我眼里
在我的歌声中早已没有你

那只是一场游戏一场梦
不要把残缺的爱留在这里
在俩个人的世界里不该有你
oh.为什么道别离 说什么在一起
为什么道别离 说什么在一起
如今虽然没有你 我还是我自己
说什么此情永不愈
说什么我爱你
如今依然没有你 我还是我自己

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

taiwan super idol

本来想在YouTube找一下潘美辰的‘我可以为你挡死’,有点老派好我知道,可是潘美辰很型一下,就曾经看过她上娱乐新闻时表演单手伏地挺身,帅到~不要说她像周杰伦,明明就是周杰伦像她。
结果给我找到这个,超级偶像的江明娟。这个初赛的造型可以ignore它,可是声音不错,满像潘美辰。看一下歌词,很感性的一首歌。

到后来变成这个:

然后看到一个吓我一跳的:

还我差点看走眼~不是圈内人的我说一下,她是女生。张芸京,就是哭腔太多,有点假,还是可以不错,自己人,支持一下~

tagged 3 and 4

1. who is your all-time inspiration?
my idols~

2. what is your dream career?
clinical psychologist

3. what major thing are you working on right now?
slacking and lazying~

4. where is the place that you want to go the most?
place that snow but not so cold~ and a harmonious place~

5. if you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
whatever i dream will come true

6. what do you like in your other half?
i would like faithful,loyalty and honesty please~

7. what are you afraid to lose the most now?
my conscious

8. if you win $1 million, what would you do?
spend it on things i like~

9. if you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
i would wait and see~

10. list out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
cute,pretty,nice~

11. what are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
faithful,loyalty honesty and not bad looking hehe

12. which type of person do you hate the most?
3 gu 6 po and big mouth jerks

13. what is your ambition?
clinical psychologist

14. if you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
tell me

15. what do you think is the most important thing in your life?
happiness

16. are you a shopaholic or not?
nope

17. state one of your desire.
desire is an ugly thing u know~XD

18. if you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
i want to be smarter please~

19. what is the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?
i don't want to talk bout it...

20. what do you wish to have now?
my dream will come true~
____________________________________________________________________
List out 20 names.

1.peiwen
2.awei
3.felicia
4.jay kor
5.hl
6.loo sze
7.beatrice
8.xiao ming
9.peising
10.birdleg
11. xiao zhu
12. xiao bai
13.lulu
14. hooi
15. anne jie
16. wanfei jie
17.eugine jiefu
18. mich
19. syndy
20. mellisa

How do you know 14?
primary schoolmate

What would you do if you had never met 1?
i wouldn't be doing this tag,hahaha~wouldn't have so much fun last year~

What would you do if 9 and 20 dated you?
i always date ps out~ and mellisa would prefer to date my bro out~

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
nope =.=''

Do you think 8 is attractive?
sure~lam die many people lor~

Do you know anything about 12's family?
yeah i do

Tell me something about 7.
very hardworking,my ex housemate,from indonesia that speak good manderin,english and hokkien~

What is 18's favourite?
er i'm not sure,eating??eheh~

Who is going out with 19?
i never know~~

How old is 16 now?
1 year older than me~

When was the last time you talked to 13?
just just sms her~

Would you date 4?
sure~~~~hehehhe~

Would you date 17?
yeah~~~

Is 15 single?
not available anymore~

What is 10's last name?
tan yi shin is her full name

Would you ever consider being in a relationship with 11?
wahhahha no~

Which school does 3 go to?
HELP~~

Where does 6 live?
coming back to penaga soon~

What is your favourite thing about 5?
head big enough~

I won't tag anyone because it's almost the same with the previous tag.

Monday, April 14, 2008

back in b'w

I bought a ring for myself,from laconic. Too bad their rings were not specially designed,unlike their wristband and necklace.
I always like rings,spent quite a lot on buying rings,but lost all of them...T.T

A new cute scene not far away from my home:a Mak Mandin police station on the opposite of Raja Uda's Salam,but also opposite of a pirated vcd shop,funny right? If you know Butterworth well,you'll know how ridiculous it is,why the hell on earth is a Mak Mandin police station doing over here in Raja Uda? And all those fatty belly police officers do is sit inside the air-con office all the time.

Everyone said I'm thinner when they saw me,so I'm going to FATTEN myself before I go KL~ I will be fat anyway,cause I'll be well fed with mom's food and needless to say,PG FOOD! Cheap and nice available everywhere here in Peneng or Butterworth!And I tend to become lazier when I'm back in my home cause mom did everything for me~wahahah yea I'm pampered~

And thanks to my beloved junior xiao ming for borrowing me her yeng yeng guitar~I love the sound although the strings is hard on my fingers XD~

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Life is...

Sometimes, you have friends with you.
And sometimes,you have family with you.
But most of the time,you're alone.

No,you still have your shadow.

Even if you lost everything,you must withhold yourself.
Living is a cost,but also a gift.
When you're still able to breath,everything stands a chance,even a slight one will do.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

今天无缘无故被咬一口。

有时候我被人说我老小孩,
有时候我被人说我很不成熟;
我说抱歉我才19岁,我当然还可以不成熟兼带点孩子气。
有时候我被人说我很理智,
有时候我也觉得我自己很情绪化;
我说抱歉我其实还是女生,也可以‘一个月来一次’的坏脾气;
有人说我看起来很tough,
也有人觉得我很懦弱;
我说我是双鱼座,没听说过双鱼座是软心肠很敏感很感性的吗?
有时候我被说我很绅士,
可是刚有人说我很没品;
我说抱歉我不是男生,我也有权利不去绅士。

呵呵~以上纯属娱乐~
其实每个人都有不同的perspective,所以都用不同的角度来看同一种事物。而且人类的沟通是很特别的,你跟A用这个沟通方式,你跟B用不一样的沟通方式,所以不能说你不够了解一个人,只能说每个人的沟通方式都不是很一样,所以误解是很自然的。

从youtube看到了西藏暴乱的情况,而且暴乱不止出现在西藏,还延伸至世界各地。
Fight for own right is good,可是伤害到无辜人民就不好了。
好,用biology的角度来解释,大爱是不可能存在的,万物皆自私,这是生存条件,人类才之所以得以生存至今的原因。好,我天真了。
还有从youtube看到了各国的gay parade,包括泰国可是奇怪的是只出现gay和transexual,没有看到lesbians。你看,这样几和平。马来西亚几时会有光明正大的出柜日啊?
还有就是从biology的课本读到,人类人数不断增加,出生率远远超过死亡率,所以就算人类灭亡也不会是同性恋者人数增加的原因!而且同性恋者人数增加,说不定可以控制人口,挽救人类和地球~XD
另一个课本上的学问:生物学家正在研究如何利用身上的细胞研制后代,无需精子,可是还是需要母体。所以抱歉了gays,the chances for lesbian couples to have their own baby is much higher,未来lesbian couples可以真正组织家庭的梦想或许可以实现了^^

还未离家之前,或许你认为自己是只被困在井底的青蛙,想尽办法逃出去闯外头的世界。
直到你必须离乡背井独身在外时却又会无比的思念那个你曾经认为是困住你的地方。
在外头虽然跌到过,可是疤痕是成长的一部分,疤痕越多,累计的经验就越多。
没有什么比回家更值得高兴的事了。

p/s: I'm still very far from being a psychologist,but i still can be a good listener~ And you can learn a lot by surfing youtube,try the national geography lists.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

fresh voice in YouTube

YouTube is a good place to click around,especially when you're bored and wanting to see or hear something new.
This is what i found out!

KokoKaina from MALAYSIA!
Yes! and she wrote her own song and put them on youtube. She got a lovely voice,a little bit like Michell Branch with a little jazz feeling. Check her out more on youtube!

Then,I click around and then found out this guy!

David Choi, a singer, song writer and producer. Check out his own songs produced in studio in his myspace.


And this is Chloe Temtchine,one of the singer that produced by David Choi. Her voice in youtube are not that clear,in her myspace is a lot more better,studio version!

Friday, April 4, 2008

way back into love

Have you watch the movie 'Music and Lyric'? And yea, Hugh Grant really sang and danced in the movie,and I think he shouldn't shake his butt all the way in the movie cause its so OMG.
I just love this song:

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking from someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

This is the demo version from the movie by Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant.
Dedicate this song to all single people. You see, love is still somewhere out there. *wink*

Thursday, April 3, 2008

自己

今天不乖,不是很有兴致吸收课本上的知识,还有十多课还没完成,天~

我还是一个小孩啦,缺乏爱的小孩,好,就是这样。
我脾气可以很好,也可以忽然间就变很坏,很极端。

越是重要的关系,一旦决裂了,就更加弥补不回。

这首歌歌词很好,我喜欢Craig David,他歌声很轻松,虽然有些歌很lame,有些歌满不错。

Craig David - Separate Ways Lyrics

We used to be inseparable, now the love has gone
That's the reason why, why you and I can't get along
And even though I knew what you had done to me
I never planned to cheat I guess both of us been weak.. yeah
Cards throw em down we been fooling round guess we're both to blame
Nothing to talk about girl it freaked me out the night you called his name
Mmm not coming home till the early morn' what am I supposed to say
Relationships are based on trust so with us it's obvious

Why don't we go our separate ways
Just realise we've nothing left to say
Neither of us wants to compromise
Too many secrets, jealousy and lies.

It seems that we been messing 'round ain't being straight
You say that we should work it out but it's far too late
Being honest girl when all said and done got some things to face
There's nothing left to lose but so much time to waste yeah
What's the point in playing playing games with me
We ain't gotta lie
You might as well just pack our bags and just say goodbye
Only human girl we both made mistakes but it ain't no use
I think we should call it quits cos we can't go on like this.

Why don't we go our separate ways
Just realise we've nothing left to say
Neither of us wants to compromise
Too many secrets, jealousy and lies

I don't even know why we've been tripping for so long
It's not like we both don't understand what's right from wrong
Seems like we cant get along no more so why don't we just go
Shut the door as there ain't no love here anymore?

Why don't we go our separate ways
Just realise we've nothing left to say
Neither of us wants to compromise
Too many secrets, jealousy and lies [repeat]

(Girl I'd like to know)
What else is left for us to say
(girl I'd like to know)
'cos I can't se any other way
(girl I'd like to know)
Why did we let each other down
(girl I'd like to know)
I wanna know I wanna know
(girl I'd like to know)
If it all started with a kiss
(girl I'd like to know)
Why did it have to end like this
(girl I'd like to know)
All of the promises we made yeah?

所以说,trust and honesty are important in maintaining a relationship,love is just not enough.
无奈,why can't we work it out just like the promises we made?
简简单单爱下去唱起来很容易听起来也很容易,可是爱在两个人在一起久了以后还能够那么简单就好。
好,又是一篇关于爱情关于感情的文章...-.-''

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

career test from website

This is another personality test. A COLOUR career test.
Show your patience, choose carefully and you might surprise with what you'll get.

See,these are my results.
1. ARCHIVISTS AND CURATORS - administrative director of a museum collection or a library.24
2. CREATIVE WRITING24
3. SOCIAL STUDIES / SOCIAL SCIENCES EDUCATION46
4. LITERATURE - ENGLISH / AMERICAN50
5. MUSIC EDUCATION60
6. MEDICINE80
7. WRITERS AND EDITORS92
8. PHOTOGRAPHIC / MOTION PICTURE TECHNOLOGY98
9. BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION AND MANAGEMENT122
10. CHIROPRACTIC124
11. FRENCH LANGUAGE130
12. PHOTOGRAPHY134
13. MICROBIOLOGY140
14. SPANISH LANGUAGE140
15. TEACHING ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE140
16. PHYSICAL THERAPY and therapeutic massage and reflexology146
17. VETERINARY MEDICINE (pre-veterinary medicine)150
18. LIBRARY SCIENCE AND LIBRARY ASSISTING152
19. ENGLISH EDUCATION152
20. ATMOSPHERIC SCIENCES AND METEOROLOGY - study the atmosphere's physical characteristics152
21. SECONDARY SCHOOL TEACHERS154
22. MANAGEMENT INFORMATION SYSTEMS156
23. NUCLEAR MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY156
24. APPLIED MATHEMATICS158
25. ACCOUNTANTS AND AUDITORS - ensure accuracy in public records and taxes..160
26. SCIENCE EDUCATION160
27. LAW and pre-law160
28. CORRECTIONS160
29. BUSINESS AND OFFICE160
30. MEDICAL LABORATORY / TECHNOLOGY160
31. RECREATIONAL / ART / MUSIC THERAPY160
32. OPTOMETRY (pre-optometry) - One who is trained and licensed to examine the eyes for visual defects.162
33. ENGLISH LANGUAGE162
34. JOURNALISM162
35. INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS / MANAGEMENT164
36. SPEECH PATHOLOGY / AUDIOLOGY164
37. CRIMINAL JUSTICE / CRIMINOLOGY172
38. EMERGENCY MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY - AMBULANCE / PARAMEDIC174
39. PHYSICIAN ASSISTING176
40. MATHEMATICS EDUCATION176


See~I can study English Literature too~