无题

过着安逸的日子的当儿，
偶尔也会有半夜不想睡的夜晚，
偶尔也会有听着某电台忽然感伤的时候，
偶尔驾车也会有忽然晃神感伤的路程。
We are all slaves to our past.

突然想象如果是这年纪的男女谈恋爱，
是可以大大方方带回家，
被朋友问什么时候抛红炸弹，
那是一间多么普通的事情，
而我们不一样的感情却是要积力争取，
得经历大风暴才能得来，
好不公平啊!

梦醒时分

以前会非常乐意的分享自己的想法，

以文字赤裸裸的表现自己也不介意。

后来发现网络有如火星一样危险，

可以被别人当作武器，

也可以无意间伤害到别人。

说者无心听者有意。

于是就减少了文字抒写情感。

到了某种年纪，

回想起往事，

心里或许还会有些涟漪，

却不再悲愤交集。

当年自认为轰轰烈烈的感情事件，

也以可以坦然面对。

回看当写下的痕迹，

原来当时情感那么的浓烈。

26岁的年纪，

是否会太过安于当下？

没把握的事情，

懒得从新开始，

而不去追求？

如果知道不适合，

是否要勉强凑合过日子？

或是让梦继续就好？

我们都长大了。
我们都在专心的过日子。

不速之客

我是幸运的。
家里的狗都是乖巧听话，就算在Cherishlife Home shelter里的狗也是亲人和狗，和平相处。
Milky从小就被我捡回来，长大过程里我都花很多时间陪她，性格是粘人乖巧偶尔顽皮的。
Cookie是从后面街狗跑来门口摇头摆尾走进我家，性格温和顺从，所以没有带来很大的问题。
直到这只不速之客的出现，才发现狗狗有behavioral problem是多么的令人头痛。

他叫小白，三个星期前不知道从哪里冒出来跟了Bobby的饲主回家，饲主就找我求救，就这样小白就归我管下了......
在诊所住了一个星期，回家后刚开始还算乖巧可爱，现在问题都跑出来了搞到我精神紧绷。

或许是我内心不够强大，正能量不够强，都被他们欺负。平时在shelter里还可以震住一些场，在家里就被不成形的pack搞得神经质。

Cookie的paw pad刚修复好，还戴着E-Collar (Collar of shame)，不给跑出去就半夜呜呜叫。
小白对声音敏感，一点噪音就汪汪叫；对雄性动物极其不友善，具有攻击性，昨天就跟Bobby打架不小心咬到我；还有占有欲攻击性，昨天就被他咬了一下脚趾头。

我想叫医生给多几粒安眠药，把这两只都‘Kong’掉，然后把自己也‘Kong’掉。

In Human We Trust. - Chapter 1

A sudden impact sent him flew up into the air and landed hard on the solid road. He did not know what just happened to him. His friend had successfully crossed to the opposite road. He was almost there when something hit him. He couldn't feel anything at this moment. He couldn't move. Laying there on his side. Breathing hard. Terrified. It took him awhile to feel the pain. A different kind of pain that he never experience before. This is different from being hit by wooden stick by the little human. He whined in pain but he couldn't move his hind leg.

His friend sensed something was wrong with him. His friend came over and to check on him but unsure of what to do. His friend tried to comfort him. He touched him softly with muzzle but he couldn't stop the pain.

He did not know how long he has been laying there in pain. His loyal friend never wonder far away from him. Sometimes he'll come and lay beside him. Fast moving objects on the road never stop. He laid there in pain but he know he have to go. His friend encouraged him. He couldn't feel his hind legs but his front legs are just fine. Something in him told him that he have to stand up. He tried to move his hind legs but he couldn't. All he have now is his front legs. Putting all the strength he has on his front body part to sit up and support himself, he move slowly away from the busy roadside. He drag himself slowly, inch by inch. He did not know where was he going. He couldn't see clearly which way to go but he knows he have to move. He didn't know that he is going to fall down into the drain.

Pitch dark. The next thing he know, he was in a big drain. He tried to sit up. His friend approached the drain and barked at him, as if asking whether he is alright. His friend whimpered and tried to get him out but he got no hands like human. All his friend could do is just sit there and accompanied him.

Help came at last. A lady human looked down into the drain. He saw her. Lady human moved away and came back with another human. Human jumped into the drain and spent some time with him before touching him. Human talked to him softly and he know this human is different. He can trust this Human. Human wrap some clothes around him and carried him out from the drain gently with the help of lady human outside the drain. He was in pain and he was not sure what was happening and he didn't know what human will do to him. Human carried him into the fast moving object. A minute later, his friend is with him. In the fast moving object.

When he felt the fast moving object had stopped moving, the human moved him into an enclosed area with all sorts of smell. Smells of other dogs, smells of pee, smells of human, smells of substances in the air that he don't know what are those. A mixture of everything. He didn't like it. He was laying on a board.

Another human came over and inspected him. This human didn't spend time with him. A total stranger. He was not sure whether this human can be trusted. He was afraid. This human was touching him here and there. Inspecting his injuries. Lady human was comforting him. Suddenly he felt a pain from his side, and so he snapped at the source of his pain. He accidentally snapped at human lady's finger. He was only protecting himself and reacting to the cause of pain. He didn't intent to harm the kind lady human.

He was then put into a cage. His friend in another. He did not know what will happen next. He did not know whether he would be able to walk again. He did not know what will human do to him next. But he know his fate is in human's hand.


He was a lucky one. Many died on the spot and left unattended. Such is the life of a street dog. Nobody care. Only a few does. Their life is tough but they are tough. Some could still survive for days and months on their own even though they became paralyze due to accident. First time ever, he understand that not all human are bad. First time ever, he experienced love from human. First time ever, he experienced trust on human. He has met his human.

因为她当你的床比她的床还要舒服，
所以床单每次才会那么乱。

因为你的胸膛让她感觉很舒服，
所以她才入睡得流口水。

好吧，只好这么想吧 （ˇˍˇ）

无法取代 vs. replaceable

没有人没了谁就会活不下去。

各种不同的身份，都可以被取代

老板、同事 、朋友、男女朋友、老公老婆

貌似所有没有血缘关系的，

都可以被取代。。。

不喜欢工作辞职，

老板才不削留你。

外面大把人可以请来填补你的职位，

公司不会没有你就行不通，

老板不会对你有感情。

分手了，难过了，

你以为你会难过很久很久，

你以为她也会难过很久很久，

一年后你牵着另一个人的手在街上走来走去。

她也牵着另外一个人在街上逛来逛去。

结婚后，有了一份证书，证明你是某某某的太太。

离婚也不难，请个律师，分居个几年，你就不再是某某某的太太。

几年后，另个人成了某某某的太太。

实在不明白，结婚可以再离婚，结婚是拿来zomok的？

不管你是人家的男女朋友、员工、老公老婆，

你的身份，都可以被其他人取代。

除了身为子女的身份，感情再不好，也无法取代。

也除了您的狗，永远都认得你这个主人，化成灰也会认得你这个主人。

Everyone is replaceable.

当世界进步得人人都网上聊天的时候，

突然发现可以面对面聊天的朋友变少了。

当世界进步得人人都可以手机上网的时候，

突然发现上个网想找人聊天都没了。

部落格处处杂草丛生。

说实在，我比较喜欢以前距离远着，可是心近着。

虽然现在距离不远，却连近况如何也不知道.....

记载着低落的心情，流着泪打的字。

心情成长，有吗？

我想说，

年轻时太轻易喜欢上，

老了想爱上却不容易。

记载着一段段的情史。

假装忘掉某个人某段情，

那个号码不费吹灰之力就retrieved出来了。

删除所有，也删除不了的一些回忆。

偷偷看fb,

真的就没有打扰了那么久。

不知不觉已经6年前了？

A dog's tale

I am committed to dog shelter volunteering. Maybe it was because I indirectly caused death to a puppy whn I was a kid...
Someone abandoned 4-5 puppies in a box outsider my house when I was Standard 2 that time. All puppies were females about 1 week old,which are common until these days.Most people prefer male puppy over female puppy so won't bring breeding problem.
I tried to ask the adult permission to keep 1 of the pups and I got denied. Ok fine. So I played with the puppies and I moved 1 of them nearer to my house and went in to get ready for school. A big mistake. My grandpa moved the puppy away while I was bathing,not back with her siblings,but near to the big drain. After i came out again,the puppy was gone. She fell into the drain. A big drain with medium water current. The adults didn't do anything to save the poor pup,I was only 7 and don't know what to do. The poor pup got washed away,crying for help. Climbed over the slide I could see half of her body floating in the big big drain from the other side of the drain. Lifeless....
Sad and angry,I weeped and didn't talk to my grandpa and brother (taunted me for crying for the pup) for the whole day. I indirectly caused her death while she hadn't able to see the world clearly.
Whenever I stood at the side of the drain,I still thought about the incident. Guilt, I have.
I am not a rescuer. I was not ready to make too much sacrifice. Shame,I felt. But I would,do my part as a dog shelter volunteer: educate and execute Trap-Neuter/Spay-Release program in dog-friendly neighbourhood,and make friends with the furry ones around.

无意思考

还是部落格喊话有效~
吕小明，您还是继续乖乖娱乐大众娱乐爷吧~

不知不觉上班了一年半，真的是不知不觉....
和上课不一样，脑细胞正在慢慢的缩小，难怪老人痴呆在这年代越来越年轻化....
佩服那些可以朝九晚9那么多年的人，竟然可以呆一间公司7、8年。
也佩服老板，以一个人之力操心操肺一间公司那么多年....
大家都被生活同化了,你我他，一样都在赚钱过生活--
饿不死又富不起来的打工族，买了车买不起楼的80后。

感性不起

现实的生活拿走了我的感性，
现在对那些感性的话毫无感觉，
麻木了情感。
除了动物之外，
对其他人类没有多大的兴趣。
什么要死不活的，
统统丢去流浪一天。

然后我要说，
吕小明，为嘛我又看不到你的部落了？？？
要知道您小明的部落是我目前生活乐趣之一呀～～
吕小明看到请回话～

iamdisgusted. by some male. gals,pls dont get married. u duno what ur husband did outside..there are really some really low-living thinking creature male living among us,and u wont know whether the 1 u marry is one of them.

鼠

家里鼠患，
老鼠笼里关着的已经是第四只了，
屋里屋外乱窜着的还有不下两只。

笼里是只大老鼠，
长得就跟《老鼠厨神》一模样。
它瞪着我我瞪着它，
我动一下手它已经吓得吱吱叫。
有人会觉得大老鼠在笼里大叫大跳很凶悍，
其实它只是饱受惊恐，
吱吱叫声里，
我听到的是害怕恐惧，
怎么能忍心夺走一条性命？

我不是虔诚佛教徒，
我只是知道万物皆有情有性，
害怕似乎是所有动物共有的感觉,
屠夫怎么下得了手？

Compassion and humanity,
是现代父母需要教会孩子的事，
不是ipad iphone i得如此自我，事事我都要为首。

共勉之

五月

以前的我，不知道政治是拿来做么的，觉得政治是很烦人的东西。
直到清洁运动崛起，手无寸铁的人民上街和平请愿集会却被镇暴队发射垂泪弹强力水枪，一部一部在场人民拍摄的视频，和主流媒体报道相差甚远，警察形同流氓，激起了很多大马年轻人的不忿。

大选将至，“5月5，换政府”的口号朗朗上口。
两大党派的支持者却把这届大选变成了最暴力的大选。破坏对方支持者的车辆，网路暴力的粗暴谩骂，可怜的名人上台中招。

不明白网路暴力，
别人支持别个党，
也不必要用那么难堪入耳的字眼来骂吧？
有些骂人的字都高搞不清楚也拿来吗，
显示修养不好之余还泄漏了学问没学好。

还有些朋友之间因为支持的立场不同而关系破裂。
如此的风风雨雨。

有些人盲目的支持党，
任何不支持者或批评党者一律格杀勿论。
有些人纯粹想要改变，
不管三七二十一候选人是谁投反对党联盟就对了。
有些人觉得反对党领袖不可靠，
还是支持原味好了。

无论是哪一党的支持者，
可不可以不要诋毁对方吗？
其实是长不到自己威风的。
可不可以来个君子之争？

几时可以来个像美国大选那样的双方公开辩论？
领袖就要像个就个君子，
不要老鼠一样躲躲闪闪的。

不要问别人会投给谁，
大家都知道的。

当老板

当老板真辛苦，
要监督每一个project每一个员工，
要胡扯夸大成就标新project，
以确保员工有事情做，
要尽个孝心也不行，
公司不能不管尽信员工。

当个老板当得那么辛苦，
我才不要当老板～

写信人

刚阅读完了陈雪的《人妻日记》，
里头有她的伴侣早餐人写的信。
分开那段日子里写的信。

有时候生命就是那么奇妙，
梦里寻他千百会，
孰不知那人早已经擦身而过。

文字是表达感情的最好方式（对我来说），
我也曾经写过那样的信，
把所有的愤怒、伤心、绝望等等所有的情绪写在纸上，
偶尔还参杂着泪水与过往记忆片段的思念，
一次过寄了过去。
结果她打了电话过来，
责备我那么鲁莽把所有她的东西连同那些信件飘洋过海寄了整大箱过去，
家里人觉得奇怪，还好没被发现。

我把所有的情绪都抒发，
却没有被认同，石沉大海，那也是我的孤独一注。

心里却是孤独的

前途茫茫

在工作了半年后，我迷茫了…
工作生活真的和想像中有那么大的差别…
不喜欢现在做着的工作，
没办法喜欢，
却也不知道喜欢做的是什么…

大家都必须为了生活而打拼，
热诚于什么？动力出自哪里？
我这个transition也来得真慢…

人生难道就这样过吗？

旅行的义意

旅行可以调整心态。
去年的中国之旅确实可以，
朋友们都说我去回来后人变开郎朗了。
可最近一次的台湾之旅，
回来后并没有达到充电的效果，
反而更烦躁不安，更没冲劲。
日子一日复一曰，
七日过了又得重新来过，
对于才做了半年的工作并没有所获感到厌倦，
才发现我是多么的喜欢学习，喜欢有目标、有目的、有挑战性的任务。
台湾是个很漂亮的地方，
遇到很多贵人相助，毕生难忘。
如果我要移民，我会跑来台湾。
还有半年…

痴人梦话

工作一点都不好玩…
工作会把让你脑袋变笨，
没时间看书，
没时间看戏，
没时间出去玩，
有时间都想拿来睡觉，
剩下的时间只能陪陪女朋友…

工作不好玩，
半年了并没有爱上这份工作。
其实有哪份工是好玩的？
人如果可以不用金钱来过生活的话，
应该没有人会想做自己没有喜欢的工作。
想想人生当中还有三份之二是必须工作的，
就觉得人类真可悲啊！

可不可以给我做我喜欢做的事然后给我钱？
还是都不用工作都可以过日子？
痴人在梦话啊~

In loving memory of Mimi the dog (????- 1.2.2012)

The 1st Encounter:

I couldn't remember how it was when she first came into our house. But I do remember why. My dad asked me do I want to have a dog or not few days before she came. I wanted to say yes,but I had a stray cat at that time and I was pretty much comfort and enjoy his companion,so I wasn't so sure whether I wanted to break that companionship or not,so I kept silence. My mom said no,but we always ignored her voice,so the dog came anyway.

Such a tiny hyperactive jumper. She could jump as high as my thigh (I was 10 years old) without a break for 10 times. Her story was: A friend of my uncle got her from the street (she was probably a lost dog). Knowing my uncles love dogs too,he gave her to him. While my uncle was having two Chihuahuas at that time, he couldn't afford to have this hyperactive MinPin anymore. So he gave it to my dad, which is my family where she live happily for about 13 years. She wasn't a puppy anymore,but still very young. Probably at the age of 1 or 2. So we never had puppy biting habits problem with her.

The 1st Walk：

It was an evening. I volunteer myself to walk her. Tiny but strong she was the one who actually walking me. I was excited. Although she's not the first dog of our family,she was my first. She loved the grass. She keep bolting and chocked herself every time that I had to get her harness someday. But the first walk,I was not doing it rightly,my bro said. Everyone was outside with me and her,my two brothers.

A walk in the morning and evening became hers and our habit for 13 years. We never toilet trained her but she never pee or poo in the house. She would wait for the time for us to bring her out. Well,unless she couldn't hold it any longer,which is our fault. During my school years,I took afternoon nap on cushion and she would jumped up and woke me up with her licks whenever it was her walking time.She was very persistent that I had to give in every time.

During her young age,we had to keep her on leash during the walk as she was a runner. As trust and bonding grew stronger,we let her out off leash. But she would still try to sneak away under our watch (smart!) and we would have to run in front of her to stop her from going further. As she grew older,she became more sensitive and fearful and dare not to venture far from our house without us walking with her. Until the day before she left,she still insisted to go out to pee with her weak wobbly legs. Just that we have to carry her as she couldn't walk too long.

The 1st Nest:

We gave her a box to sleep in, and put her at the back of kitchen at night. I would eventually carried the box with her sleeping inside to the back of kitchen every night (I don't know why). Then we found an old dog cage,so we caged her at night when we sleep. Fearing that mosquito would drained her blood,mom made a mosquito net for her (tailor-made!). Then we changed furniture so she had a cushion as bed! My mom made her a cotton (real cotton) bed too! She changed quite a few beds in her lifetime!

At her old age where she couldn't jumped with bad eyesight,she couldn't sleep inside her cage anymore.Mom put her bed outside of her cage.We let one of the lights and fans for her at night.

The Last Hyperactive:

Whenever I came back,she would welcome me with her short waggy tail and butt so that anyone could tell how happy she was. Then I would let her sat on my lap like old time until mom urged me to bath. But this time she just gave me a short greeting. She didn't came out like usual when I got home until I went near to her bed. She still follow me around for a while and curled up on my lap for a little while. Mom said she just recovered from don't know what sickness and she just got back her strength to walk around on that day.

The Last Days:

Her eyes were in grey caused by cataracts, almost blind. Her hearing ability decreased that we not sure whether she still could hear us. She was so skinny that as if only a layer of skin covering her bones. She just laid on her bed the whole day until she stood up signaling us that she wants to go out.

Her condition was unpredictable. It was a day of getting better then a day of just sleeping on bed. On the 8th day of Dragon Year, she refused to eat anything,even cereal with minced meat that she finished the day before. At night, we tried to feed her hard-boiled egg and to our relief, she ate the whole egg yolk and half of the egg.

On the 9th day,again she refused to eat. Just a little bit of 'Ang Gu' and water. I put her on my lap for the last time as mom changed her bed cover. At night,I noticed her breathing difficulty problem. She was like dropped her head to a side and grasping for air. I sat by her and comforted her until she got her breath back. I told mom that tomorrow we should call the vet. Mom said she is just waiting for her time.

2 something at night, I was sleepy but I was unwilling to sleep. Mom wasn't sleeping yet as well. I kept an eye on her while editing my resume. Mom went to bed. She grasping for air again. My hand felt her bed was wet. She wet her bed at last. I told her it was okay and I'll bring her to vet tomorrow and she hid her face away as if she felt ashamed of wetting her bed. I shut down my laptop,left the light and fans on for her and went to bed.

Back to the 1st:

Mom woke me up saying I should be awake. I checked the time,it's 8 just something,too early and unusual for her to wake me up. I wanted to get back to sleep but I felt something was not right,so I got up anyway. I went out to look for her but she and her bed was not there. I asked mom where is she, mom said she's dead. Mom put her in a box with her towel. Her eyes weren't shut tight, her limps weren't stiff, as if she was just sleeping. We dug a hole and buried her at the back of our house. She is still nearby.

I watched an episode of Dog Whisperer where a family was still grieving for their lost dog. The kid of the family said the dog has finally able to run freely again and not covered in white fur anymore. I guess this is the best way to think of her. She is hyperactive again with her cute big puppy eyes that made her looked smart,her sharp hearing, and loud barking,she is young once more. I would never forget her young days where she jumped around the cushions in living room like crazy,her big wide eyes,her snuggled on my laps,slept on my butt when I laid in living room watching tv. I would never forget also my heartache when I saw her cataract grey-white eyes, white muzzles and whiskers, white fur,old age of her.

She made me fall in love with dogs.

We grow up together but I wasn't here when she was growing old.

Mimi was a great dog.

Thanks you for growing up with me.

Sorry for not being there with you while you were growing old.

But I'm glad I was here during her last days.

Mom said she'd chosen the right time.

Indeed. I came back for new year. I was here with her.

I was the last person she saw and heard. And she waited until everyone was asleep. Then she sneaked away. Silently.

小时候看X-Men总幻想自己某天会有超能力，

然后就可以行侠仗义当英雄。

再长大些看Pokemon时幻想自己有只喷火龙，

可爱小龙进化成威猛飞龙继续喷火战斗坏人。

再长大些后发现这些都是小孩子的梦想，

所以要实际点，理想着以后长大了要找份很高薪水的工作当成功人士可以让父母骄傲让亲戚闭嘴 X)

结果长大成人后发现实际的理想其实也没有很实际，

目前毕业了的理想就是找份工作从什么都不会开始努力学，平平淡淡的有份可以过日子的薪水，然后老狗狗可以不那么痛苦，父母健康大家好好的就好了。

I know she'll leave us soon. Just hope not so soon.

Even though she's having wobbly legs she still insist to go out for pee pee and poo poo.

Such a good dog. Such a great dog.

Hoping she'll feel better tomorrow.

Everything is possible.