因为知道表态了也不会有什么改变，

所以就什么也不表态好了，

假装什么事都没有。

如果明天是世界末日的话，

我会说出来。

可是世界末日我们不会知道是几时。

是不是继续过日子就好呢？

我也不知道这样是不是正常，

偶尔的如此，

时间过了那么久了，

grief到时间都快记不清了。

“你好吗？”

若你幸福，

请忘了我。

若你过得不开心，

希望过往的记忆可以带给你一些快乐的回忆。

You have all the reasons not to be with me.

Now I understand.

不够成熟，没有能力。

Too much of fantasy recently.

想太多

感冒了。

右眼一直在跳，双眼水汪汪，太阳穴有点紧，鼻子塞了一个，严重不舒服......

又想起了死亡。

是不是像睡着了一样，

渐渐的失去意识，然后停止呼吸，心脏停止跳动，血液停止输送氧气，脑袋缺少氧气供应，能量渐渐从人体内消失。然后所有体内的机械就如当机了一样shut down?

FB上大家都中了《那些年》的毒。

我不是九把刀迷。不知道《那些年》是什么东西。

初恋吗？和我的差太远。

追女孩吗？我也追，只是也差好远。

Relate不到，想象不到，不好意思谢谢拜拜。

如果我说我还想你，

do you know who you are?

最近好多歌都有‘如果’ 这东西。

爱情有如果吗？没有。

如果了又不能怎样 ╮(╯_╰)╭

可是我喜欢阿福的“如果有如果”~ 舒服的歌声~

曾经接近死亡。

前年骨痛热症，住了两个礼拜医院。

去年右腿细菌感染，住了两个月医院。

今年平平安安，感恩感恩！！

分手是有季节的。

差不多七月到十月是分手季节。

恋爱也是有季节的。

分手季节过后就是恋爱的季节。

看着分分离离，

有些红娘还是我。

看着伤心，

也看着开心。

这样也好 =)

你永远不知道关灯躺下后会想的是什么。

会是某天发生的事情，

某人的动作，

某时刻的伤心生气，

还是某时刻的开心温暖。

思念止不住，

只好放任涌流，

然后忽然的就不知不觉的睡着了。

突然想....

如果我有她那样那样那样的话，

会怎样？

人比人，

伤心死人。

生日快乐

我迟了

依旧如此美丽淳朴

三年前犹如昨天一样。

最近的生活在磨着我的耐性。

耐性在渐渐消失，变得烦躁不安。

尤其是对人类，那么的愚蠢、自私、丑恶。

对人性的宽容越来越少。

面对狗群，竟然比面对人群，舒心一百倍。

生活在磨着我的耐性。

变得烦躁不安，

不安于成为俗人的一部分。

我是那么的不屑俗人。

好多年前我给我自己取个网名为‘独行狼者’。

如独行侠一样我行我素，一个人也安然潇洒。

如狼一样保持野性，如狗一样真诚。

总想自己和其他人不一样。

忘了狼和狗不会感情受伤，如何能如受伤的小兽一样躲起来自舔伤口呢？

我没有迷失自我，

我不喜欢成为俗人，

我只是情感发泄罢了。

It has been years.

Reading back the past still makes me cry.

Just like the song by Rascal Flatts-- 'What Hurts the Most'

All is well.

Now I don't even know how to express myself through words.

文笔大不如前啊....

还是越来越深沉了....

Doubt

I don't know how to maintain a relationship.

Now I don't even know how to maintain a friendship.

Hah.

'cham' ‘掺’

有时候，必须做的事情，或是想做的事情，因为麻烦，以逃避的心态越拖越久，结果会更麻烦，而事情还是没有解决。╮(╯▽╰)╭

知道咖啡会睡不着嘛，还喝两杯，活该~caffeine overdosed~

I do miss those times when we had a huge gang of people hanging out together. But I know it won't be the same anymore,even if everyone manage to sit at the same table once again. Everyone's too occupied with their own work. Things that happened. Feelings that got hurt. People grown up.

遗憾.

因为在乎，所以在意，有时候是解释不了。如此的尴尬，如此的为难。

what happen on 9th July 2011

What's the trendy colour now in Malaysia?

Definitely YELLOW!

Yes I'd always love Yellow Man! But I have no idea why the 'CLEAN' associated with YELLOW,maybe they like YELLOW MAN too! But I do know about the purpose of 'CLEAN' and like most of the young people nowadays that Facebook too much, I do know what happen on the day,although I didn't participate it. But I swear I would in the future!

Oh well, there are two types of Malaysian now: Pro-yellow or anti-yellow. But some of the pro-yellow do not really understand the purpose of 'CLEAN', and some anti-yellow mis-associated YELLOW with anti-government,trouble-makers,blablabla. Well actually a lot of young people,including some of the people I knew that went to the rally,did not belong to any political groups. People supported YELLOW ACTION because we want a clean and transparent election. We are tired of having the jokers as our nation leaders. See the 8 demands of CLEAN groups.

I'd registered as voter last week.

The young generation should stop being ignorant of what's happening in this country. We may hate politics but we do love this country. Action is needed. Never change, never know.

Bah anyway,I did went out on the historical day itself. When I received the news that all roads entering KL will be blocked I was like "oh shit". But I still decided to go with the plan,thinking that "Stupid!Trying to keep all your citizens in their house? I'm going out!'. Although I got lost and was near KL when I was heading back home from KBB,but I had no trouble, no jam no roadblock,no cars, (only a few).

People and their furkids in water~

Apparently my photo size is too large and taking too much time to upload....ok this pic for now 1st~

Note

Finally bought a camera! Nikon D3100!

Planned to get it last year before Bro's wedding,but accident happened,so plan got delayed... Anyway,I'm glad to have it! Bought it with my own money! Yay!

Will start learning how to utilize a DSLR camera to capture beautiful moments and people I treasured.

Having trouble in falling asleep at night lately. Couldn't figure out why. Is there something that I wanted to do left undone? Or am I anxious bout something that I didn't realize? Hm...

Need to find peace within myself.

聚散

我现在才发现，以后再也不会有10多个人霸着AE1的左边前两排位子了，意味着我们其实已经离散了，虽然还没有正式毕业，不过不会再同班咯。

我发现从一直以来我都对离别没什么感觉，总是好聚好散，没有特别伤感的毕业离别情绪，果然是超级内向的人嘛，对人群不感冒~~

不过嘛，我会记得属于我群体里的伙伴~

才发现我们这群体已经有2-3年，从几个人扩大到10多个？

虽然群体很大，来自不同东西南北，我相信毕业后还是有机会相聚的~

趁还没正式毕业还没正式工作还没进入adulthood之前，赶快尽情的玩乐吧~~~

透露下，年尾我会去流浪别个国度~去看憧憬已久的雪~

目前正在考虑买哪种相机的阶段。

DSLR or compact digital?

Nikon or Canon?

D3100 or D3000？

EOS600D or EOS550D or EOS1100D?

T.T

碎片思绪

有没有那么一个人，在心里有个特别的位置，不去打扰不去联络不去问候，却是如此深刻的一个人?这是我心里的秘密，这是个另一个故事，有关我的爱情，有关一些记忆，还有关是否会影响着未来。这不是个伟大的爱情故事，也没有轰轰烈烈，反而很卑微很见不得光，所以那时候了解很深入的朋友并不多，自己渡过的低潮期，还引起兄弟不满。不想说是因为早知道的结果还要去犯贱，没什么好哭诉的。反正我觉得不是个什么光荣的事，因为我是个第三者。

我想不会有其他人能让我如此的歇斯底里，让我如此的说出如此不理智的话，如此的低潮的一段日子。会不会就这样没有再爱人的能力了？原本就没有浪漫个性也不是好情人，还会对别的人有爱的感觉吗？我不会为她留守单身，我还是会喜欢上其他人，只是喜欢和爱，差很多。喜欢上了，却达不到爱的层次，还想要一起过日子，很自私。

其实现在已经没怎么了，偶尔的想起以前，偶尔的想起我觉得她对我的背叛，还是会自然的留下泪。恨过，不恨她，恨的这世俗这世道这见不得光，恨的异性恋的特权，恨的我不是男生。怨过，怨她怎么没为我努力没像她爱她前任那么爱我。怒过，怒她不勇敢怒她我认为她对我的背叛。

在另一个城市有她，所以那个城市有特别意义。

我只是忽然情绪汹涌了，或许某天会写出完整的故事。

'eh,your brother ah?'

Yesterday in Starbucks, a partner brought his sibling along to work.

So, I asked him:

'Eh, your brother ah?'

'No la, my sister, like Hui Min only'

Me went 'O.O ah? your sister?'

'Really la,my sister!!!'

Then I went 'oohh~~emmm~~ how old is she?'

'12 going 13'

'emmm~~' *peek on the young tb to-be.

Then, after a while, my MOD asked the partner again.

'That's your brother ah?'

'No! My sister!'

'What? your sister? you got sister meh? I thought you only got younger brother?'

'My younger sister la!'

'Sister?' MOD turn to look at the young tb and turn back to look at the partner

'Yea my sister, you thought I'm joking ah? Really my sister la!'

MOD then said 'can join Hui Min and Kaven odi'

12、13 years old,ok la still a kid,haven't grow up,that's why I can't recognized lo~

This reminded me of my own experience of being mistaken as little brother whenever my eldest bro took me out with him hang out with his friends.

Now only I know how awkward it was~

I felt that tiny tb keep watching me. Oklo if I'm 12 13 and I saw someone that 'connects' with my own dressing and behavior,I'll keep watching also~ But back then there wasn't as many tbs as nowadays,so I don't recall seeing any tbs older than me that time~

You're beautiful

You're beautiful-James Blunt

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,(Real version)
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/james-blunt-lyrics/you_re-beautiful-lyrics.html ]
Flying high,(clean version)
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Happy Valentine's

hl's dream

Someone had a dreamed just now and told me bout it!
To increase the fun and me being lazy,I copy and paste the conversation as below~


HL 12:02:29 AM
hl hungry
HL 12:02:35 AM
hl buy mcd nugget
HL 12:02:45 AM
hl walk and hl eat nugget
HL 12:02:54 AM
then hl saw one family of COW
HL 12:03:04 AM
papa cow mama cow and baby cow
HL 12:03:10 AM
yellow colour mia COW
HL 12:03:34 AM
baby cow turn head and see hl, and hl hand mia NUGGET
HL 12:03:37 AM
=.=''
HL 12:03:57 AM
baby cow run to hl, hl scare, hl throw hand nugget far far
HL 12:04:06 AM
baby cow go to the nugget far far
HL 12:04:36 AM
after eating that piece, baby cow fa xian, hl still got one box in hand
HL 12:04:52 AM
so the stupid yellow baby cow RUN to hl again
HL 12:04:56 AM
haiyo macam dog
HL 12:05:13 AM
ou no~ hl run~~~
HL 12:05:19 AM
cow chase hl~~
HL 12:05:37 AM
hl see one blue colour wira
HL 12:05:49 AM
hl jumped on the 车顶
HL 12:06:27 AM
mana tau the baby cow macam dog, pokk come, bang hl down from car~
HL 12:06:29 AM
hl fall
HL 12:06:47 AM
fall use hand to 挡and push the cow
HL 12:06:50 AM
cow oso fall
HL 12:07:06 AM
hl think hl hurt the cow and feeling guilty
HL 12:07:21 AM
next day buy one big box of chicken nugget go visit baby cow
HL 12:07:31 AM
but cannot find the cow liao~
HL 12:07:33 AM
the end


NO NO that's not it,there's more~

HL 12:08:18 AM
got sound effect mia BANGGGG!!!!

AND

HL 12:14:11 AM
duno this dream means wat
HL 12:14:30 AM
cow means cute but dangerous.
HL 12:14:48 AM
blue wira means can save me but save budao me.

WAIT,there's more!

HL 12:18:29 AM
the cow....aiyer....bang n kissed dao me

OK, THE END~~
*CLAP CLAP CLAP~~*
feel free to interpret this dream for poor HL that got KISSED by baby yellow cow~~

It's Tuzki Year!

Happy Tuzki Year!
兔斯基年快乐！
兔斯基就是我很喜欢的那眼睛两条线的兔子！
邪住我的虎年走了走了，可爱的兔子来了来了~
兔年哦，要保持如小白兔的可爱善良，如玉兔的聪慧忠心，如Bugs Bunny的狡猾聪明，当然还有如Tuzki的慵懒古灵精怪~

还有就是，我很困很困....
起个庙在民宅旁边就是吵闹！不就起个地方来聚赌喝酒什么的吗？根本就不是敬拜神明的！那些怪叔叔，看着就讨厌！拿着顾庙的名义在庙外喝酒打麻将聚赌的！吵得我晚上睡不着，睡不够就会脾气很不好，脾气很不好就会想骂人，骂不到人就只好在这里骂骂了....

bird without wings and mustang without spirit

What's a bird without wings?
what's a mustang without freedom?
Now la I feel like I'm a bird with broken wings and a mustang in captive.
Waited too long,and wth...
I ain't going to be happy to be here any longer.
These 2 groups of people ain't feeling what I'm feeling,they just don't understand each other,and I am so darn with communicate them both together.
Can I just do what I want?
I want my life back so frking badly.
And my leg is pulling me.