A dog's tale

I am committed to dog shelter volunteering. Maybe it was because I indirectly caused death to a puppy whn I was a kid...
Someone abandoned 4-5 puppies in a box outsider my house when I was Standard 2 that time. All puppies were females about 1 week old,which are common until these days.Most people prefer male puppy over female puppy so won't bring breeding problem.
I tried to ask the adult permission to keep 1 of the pups and I got denied. Ok fine. So I played with the puppies and I moved 1 of them nearer to my house and went in to get ready for school. A big mistake. My grandpa moved the puppy away while I was bathing,not back with her siblings,but near to the big drain. After i came out again,the puppy was gone. She fell into the drain. A big drain with medium water current. The adults didn't do anything to save the poor pup,I was only 7 and don't know what to do. The poor pup got washed away,crying for help. Climbed over the slide I could see half of her body floating in the big big drain from the other side of the drain. Lifeless....
Sad and angry,I weeped and didn't talk to my grandpa and brother (taunted me for crying for the pup) for the whole day. I indirectly caused her death while she hadn't able to see the world clearly.
Whenever I stood at the side of the drain,I still thought about the incident. Guilt, I have.
I am not a rescuer. I was not ready to make too much sacrifice. Shame,I felt. But I would,do my part as a dog shelter volunteer: educate and execute Trap-Neuter/Spay-Release program in dog-friendly neighbourhood,and make friends with the furry ones around.