突然想....

如果我有她那样那样那样的话，

会怎样？

人比人，

伤心死人。

生日快乐

我迟了

依旧如此美丽淳朴

三年前犹如昨天一样。

Note

Finally bought a camera! Nikon D3100!

Planned to get it last year before Bro's wedding,but accident happened,so plan got delayed... Anyway,I'm glad to have it! Bought it with my own money! Yay!

Will start learning how to utilize a DSLR camera to capture beautiful moments and people I treasured.

Having trouble in falling asleep at night lately. Couldn't figure out why. Is there something that I wanted to do left undone? Or am I anxious bout something that I didn't realize? Hm...

Need to find peace within myself.

'eh,your brother ah?'

Yesterday in Starbucks, a partner brought his sibling along to work.

So, I asked him:

'Eh, your brother ah?'

'No la, my sister, like Hui Min only'

Me went 'O.O ah? your sister?'

'Really la,my sister!!!'

Then I went 'oohh~~emmm~~ how old is she?'

'12 going 13'

'emmm~~' *peek on the young tb to-be.

Then, after a while, my MOD asked the partner again.

'That's your brother ah?'

'No! My sister!'

'What? your sister? you got sister meh? I thought you only got younger brother?'

'My younger sister la!'

'Sister?' MOD turn to look at the young tb and turn back to look at the partner

'Yea my sister, you thought I'm joking ah? Really my sister la!'

MOD then said 'can join Hui Min and Kaven odi'

12、13 years old,ok la still a kid,haven't grow up,that's why I can't recognized lo~

This reminded me of my own experience of being mistaken as little brother whenever my eldest bro took me out with him hang out with his friends.

Now only I know how awkward it was~

I felt that tiny tb keep watching me. Oklo if I'm 12 13 and I saw someone that 'connects' with my own dressing and behavior,I'll keep watching also~ But back then there wasn't as many tbs as nowadays,so I don't recall seeing any tbs older than me that time~

hl's dream

Someone had a dreamed just now and told me bout it!
To increase the fun and me being lazy,I copy and paste the conversation as below~


HL 12:02:29 AM
hl hungry
HL 12:02:35 AM
hl buy mcd nugget
HL 12:02:45 AM
hl walk and hl eat nugget
HL 12:02:54 AM
then hl saw one family of COW
HL 12:03:04 AM
papa cow mama cow and baby cow
HL 12:03:10 AM
yellow colour mia COW
HL 12:03:34 AM
baby cow turn head and see hl, and hl hand mia NUGGET
HL 12:03:37 AM
=.=''
HL 12:03:57 AM
baby cow run to hl, hl scare, hl throw hand nugget far far
HL 12:04:06 AM
baby cow go to the nugget far far
HL 12:04:36 AM
after eating that piece, baby cow fa xian, hl still got one box in hand
HL 12:04:52 AM
so the stupid yellow baby cow RUN to hl again
HL 12:04:56 AM
haiyo macam dog
HL 12:05:13 AM
ou no~ hl run~~~
HL 12:05:19 AM
cow chase hl~~
HL 12:05:37 AM
hl see one blue colour wira
HL 12:05:49 AM
hl jumped on the 车顶
HL 12:06:27 AM
mana tau the baby cow macam dog, pokk come, bang hl down from car~
HL 12:06:29 AM
hl fall
HL 12:06:47 AM
fall use hand to 挡and push the cow
HL 12:06:50 AM
cow oso fall
HL 12:07:06 AM
hl think hl hurt the cow and feeling guilty
HL 12:07:21 AM
next day buy one big box of chicken nugget go visit baby cow
HL 12:07:31 AM
but cannot find the cow liao~
HL 12:07:33 AM
the end


NO NO that's not it,there's more~

HL 12:08:18 AM
got sound effect mia BANGGGG!!!!

AND

HL 12:14:11 AM
duno this dream means wat
HL 12:14:30 AM
cow means cute but dangerous.
HL 12:14:48 AM
blue wira means can save me but save budao me.

WAIT,there's more!

HL 12:18:29 AM
the cow....aiyer....bang n kissed dao me

OK, THE END~~
*CLAP CLAP CLAP~~*
feel free to interpret this dream for poor HL that got KISSED by baby yellow cow~~

It's Tuzki Year!

Happy Tuzki Year!
兔斯基年快乐！
兔斯基就是我很喜欢的那眼睛两条线的兔子！
邪住我的虎年走了走了，可爱的兔子来了来了~
兔年哦，要保持如小白兔的可爱善良，如玉兔的聪慧忠心，如Bugs Bunny的狡猾聪明，当然还有如Tuzki的慵懒古灵精怪~

还有就是，我很困很困....
起个庙在民宅旁边就是吵闹！不就起个地方来聚赌喝酒什么的吗？根本就不是敬拜神明的！那些怪叔叔，看着就讨厌！拿着顾庙的名义在庙外喝酒打麻将聚赌的！吵得我晚上睡不着，睡不够就会脾气很不好，脾气很不好就会想骂人，骂不到人就只好在这里骂骂了....

All is well

It annoyed me when people judged me when they do not understand me well. Don't judge me if you do not know me enough. Know what? There aren't much people who really know me that well.
But I'm glad I have friends who will stand by me.

I was too desperate of wanting to have my life back. There's a Chinese saying you'll get more disappointment when you put too much hope on one thing. I really,really,don't want to stay in hospital again. Two months of living in hospital,I'm lucky that I didn't gone crazy. But the good thing about staying in hospital was,the pimples were gone~

Did I complain a lot and not being positive enough? Aha. You try staying 2 months in hospital,still not being able to walk after half a year,and now you realize something is wrong with your leg again,then you tell me am I complaining a lot. I feel offended because you were someone to me,yet didn't feel for what I'm feeling.

Hope tomorrow will be alright,and that I'll still can be at home and go as I planned.
Just have to prepare for the worst while believing all is well.

listener

Why bother telling off our problems to others as it won't help in solving our problems or making our problems disappear?
It's true that expressing our emotions might not help in solving problems and I doubt catharsis really happens on everyone, but it does matters to the listeners. Hoping that telling off your problem will lighten your burden and share it with another person that you trusted.

I was never a good communicator or story teller. Not verbally. Probably I got worse by now.
I'm quiet and slow in respond.But I'm listening.I'm thinking.I'm here if you need me.

But I'm a person who won't go to others when I'm having problems.
Why? I'm just really not good at telling my story.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas?
Well it's just another day for me,nothing special.

Doctor said I'm able to drive a car,so I'll be having half of my life back soon!
Can't wait to go back,I miss my Milky,very much.Couldn't sleep thinking bout her last night,I'm thinking of bringing her back with me for CNY.Must find way to get rid of her car-sick......

Knee problem again. Just like last week. But it got better by itself after a couple of days. Worry whether it's the metal that causes swollen when I use too much strength trying to walk.

I do still think about you.
Just that I don't need to let you know anymore.
It doesn't matters.

遗憾

人生总会有遗憾。
我有。
例如？
空手道的，那会是我一直的遗憾。其实可以不遗憾的。
还有呢？
2010年，有一半是空的。
遗憾？
I missed a chance of little bit of everything.
A chance of interning in a real company,
prom with my mates,
cognitive and forensic classes under ms.winnee,
to become a real Starbucks partner within 3 months.
You wouldn't understand what I felt unless you're me.
I might pretend that everythings ok,i'm fine,i'm glad that i'm going through it,
well,if i could choose,i would rather just have my busy 2010.
If this didn't happen,many things would be different.
Someone will remain single and someone will remain not available.
Anyway,i think i'd getting back something that i never expect i would.
gain or lost?
fair enough

俺很重要

现在俺的心脏很小很小，开个email心里都会快休克。

天啊天啊，原来俺真的很重要，不过俺没想过俺原来这么重要。都乱七八糟了，能修补回去不？唉

这几天不是被人骂了就是被人训话了，看来俺得乖点当个力求上进的好青年，要自修要注意睡眠。

我被雷到了。。。

晚安

Miracle work of human

Actually I wanted to blog about my stay in hospital. But then I saw this picture from somewhere.

Balian Buschbaum, a female-to-male transsexual and German pole vaulter.

Very successful transform isn't it? Look at his arms! Hairy and vein! You can see those vein!

After and Before

And those nice abs! He have those abs even when he's still she!

He looks good in who he is now. I can't stop staring at his photos! For more photos--> here

just some update

I'm a little weirdo in my family,
i don't talk much,
So I think I'm losing my communication skills. lalalalalala
Xiao Ming, Yi Shin, Pei Sing, when are you guys coming to bring me out kai kai~?????

I have this diskman (a CD version of walkman,if anyone remember what's that) in my room that I used to listen every night for 5 years. And I have dozen of CD's in my cupboard, original and pirated, so I can make myself feel like a DJ in my little world.

I'm chubbier and my hair's longer now. Muscles of my half lower body got so soft until I can feel imbalance in my butt...WTH....my muscle shrink,my bone shrink.....and I might not be able to do sport that I like anymore...If you understand how it feels...I feel lazier each day at home, slack slack slack, don't feel like working on my thesis anymore la.... being at home makes me lazy and unmotivated...hard to work on my thesis when I'm so far away from my participants ah....

大难不死必有后福
后福还没到
精神上已奄奄一息

books

I regret buying these books from roadside,they don't smell like a book suppose to smell, which is one of the reasons I love books. These were photocopies books on cheap quality papers. I like the smell of books! The smell of old papers, the smell of knowledge! And these don't have the smell of books that they suppose to have.

Anyway,I'd finish 'The art of racing in the rain'. Great story! Understand what life suppose to be from a dog's perspective. The car goes where the eyes go.

HL said I'm losing my communication skills, which I think she was right. Having almost none social life, 'locked up' in hospital for months, now I even feel lazy to talk to nurses. I'd spent my summer holiday in hospital T.T

I'd missed events and activities in college, I miss my gangs, and I'm going to miss my classes!

Oh well...

Here are some of the things that I find joy in hospital, other than some cute nurses~

Mom bought these cute little bear biscuits from the hospital cafeteria~ But too bad now it's out of stock, no more little bear biscuits anymore :(

And yeah, they got Wifi available here,line is a bit slow sometimes,but better than none~

纯粹无聊

如果我还能对你坦诚以对，

如果你也还能对我坦诚以对，

那我们会怎样？

已经没有再度的无奈或自怨自艾，

也没有去想未来，

现在好像有点回到当初，又好像很普通。

如果我能对你说心里话，

你是不是一样不会对我说你的心里话呢？

今夜星光很闪耀，

小狼在房很无聊。

在病房怎么知道星光闪耀呢？

我乱说的。

你看，都说我无聊了咯。

无聊到挖兄弟的旧故事来看~

‘如果有天我遇到一个心仪的对象

向他表白时
我会不会说，
我对你的爱
就像癌细胞的生长酱
在最短的时间内
扩散到全身.......至死不渝!!!!!’

出自？这里

嘿嘿~

Dr.Teng

感谢曾经让我不是一个人，

可我却经常让她一个人。

现在有两个人不再是一个人了，

恭喜恭喜哈

发烧很不好，

fever fever go away

之前我会看着我的脚，

跟它说：

‘快点好起来啦’

然后妈妈会附和说：

‘细菌细菌快点跑开’

有个头很大的牛奶说，

可以叫她Dr.Teng了，

终于~

所以规定要我在这里写写下，

让她syok syok下~

恭喜恭喜哈,Dr.Teng~

我要回家

在医院呆了差不多一个月。断断续续的住院，总共住了多少天我也不记得了。

原来保险真的是很必要的东西，我的脚很贵很贵。

骨折是还好，细菌感染是大件事。

被撞后的看到自己的脚变形，骨折真的很痛，小朋友没事不要乱试。

我哭过，脚痛到哭。不过不是骨头断掉的时候哭，那时候是痛到没有时间哭，只想着如何不要那么痛。

我哭过，担心自己几时才可以自己冲凉、上厕所、拿东西，几时才重新走路。

我哭过，看着身边的人无微不至、日夜操劳的照顾我，我很内疚。

我哭过，虽然我不是好动之人，但是我还是喜欢运动的人。以后很有可能不能再做我喜欢的运动了。

我会想我会不会有阴影，还敢不敢骑摩多。

这个意外来得很突然，原本规划好会很忙的假期，现在被迫停止一切。

不过我觉得这意外是我命中注定会有的劫数，是福不是祸，是祸躲不过。

我想回家了啦，可以吗?

x-ray

That's what happened to my right leg. How I feel? lalalalala... to be continue

rest

才刚开始忙碌的日子不久，就被逼暂时停下来一切歇息歇息了，哎哟喂~~
事实证明，骑车切忌心情烦躁，不然自食其果。

I like working in Starbucks. It's a good working and learning place. The people, the experience, the learning, the Third Place. Now I know why many Starbucks partners like to slack in the store after work. It's not just a working place, it's the Second and Third Place.
But too bad now I have to stop everything, from busiest life ever to can't-do-anything life,it's a huge transition, but I want to get well soon, recover faster, so have to be optimistic.

Have to thanks my friends for visiting me and helping me~~
Thanks Xiao Zhu, Xiao Zhu mama and ah ma's fish porridge~~

Yawn~keep feeling sleepy whole day...Yawn~~~

spend money buy happy 2

Today I went Pipit Wonderful Market at Central Market because Lois Loo of Wonderkitten was having a booth there. That place was full of handmade arts, people, and people with arts! Trully 'water leak not pass' （水泄不通）human traffic jam! Many artists at their booths showing their creative arts and hard work. Although artworks there were quite expensive, should support if can la! Also, that place was full of people with camera! I was too shy to take pictures with my K770i phone, so I got no picture of the crowd and the arts to show. But I can show you this!

Wonderkitten's 'Stop chasing,start enjoying' postcard'. There was meaning behind this set of postcard. Everyday we'd been busy doing something,chasing something,but put down the mask that we usually wore each day,what are we chasing,actually? And see, the masked T-Rex is so cute! Reminded me of Digimon that T-rex Greymon. Ah, I should have buy the limited keychain and handphone string too......

Then,there's a flea book sales at KL central monorail with 'buy 5 free 1' board. So me and Small Black went crazy and bought books again -_-'
'

Gahh...I'm broke. I shall eat 'Kong Piah' for the next whole week.

My Milky refused to eat after I went back kampung and made herself thinner ever than before... Now you can see her ribs and pelvis (if that bone part terminology is the same like human's) clearly from far. Garh...'sam tong' die me lor...... So I'll have to spend money and make her happy and gain back her fat again -_-''

My dog refuse to eat when I'm not around. Although I'm not sure of the reason she refused to eat (depress because nobody walked her and let her loose from her chain?Or miss me too much so she got no appetite?Or she doesn't like her food?), but who would starve herself for not seeing me other than my Milky? Oh Milky Milky I love you~~

情何以堪

天不老，情难绝，心似双丝网，中有千千结

深知身在情长在，怅望江头江水声

今夕何夕，见此良人

青烟师父赠