乱

最近思绪又混乱了，
话说钻牛角尖是双鱼座的特性，
在死胡同里打结。

我需要时间，
来重新适应。

我光明正大地成了‘奸夫’，
因为清清白白，所以光明正大。

告诉自己这没什么大不了，
再难的都经历过，
这是我对自己的安慰。

情绪不受控制，
形象破灭了，
这证明我还不是专业的。

杂乱无章的一篇，
没有依序，没有关联。

moral of the story

最近很多人需要鼓励、加油。
B.Psych还在赶着assignments的seniors and juniors们要加油~
STPM快到了，我的同仁们，我大声地在这里替你们加油！
HELP University College的volleyball team也要加油！
我也要加油！

最近一直在进行volleyball训练。上课礼拜的TARC DIGI MATCH虽然无功而返，甚至是每场都是输得很离谱，可是我看到大家的努力。每粒球都努力去救，女生队差不多每人都为了救球而跌过。第一次出队，第一次整team一起打，也只能说是去吸取经验而已。
这个拜六的是MAPCU，话说很重要，教练对女生队志在必得，还派男女各两队=.=''....
今天最后一次训练，女生全员到期，第一次-.=''
话说Team A很强，一个SUKMA player,一个Zimbabwe national player,一个我的前队长兼前Kedah state player。我在Team B。
刚开始的有些失落是真的，因为我期盼跟我前队长并肩作战，话说她之前是我的偶像。^^''
话说Team B很乱来、很吵、很疯狂。我从来不知道打球可以那么疯癫 -.=''
结果Team A vs Team B,guess what? Team B won.
在看似比较有默契和没有压力的疯狂状况下，虽然没有好的setter(本人）和spiker,却赢了实力比较强的Team A。
So what's the moral of the story my friends?
NO stress,then you can do it!

I want to be a better player
I want to be a better player
I want to be a better player!!!!!
=自我催眠

Fall for you-Secondhand Serenade

Am                                        F
The best thing about tonight’s that we’re not fighting
     C                               G
It couldn’t be that we have been this way before
Am                             F
I know you don’t think that I am trying
C                                    G
I know you’re wearing thin down to the cor
F         G
But hold your breath


   C                                   Am
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
F
Over again
                G
Don’t make me change my mind
 C
I won’t live to see another day
Am
I swear its true
   F                              G
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
               Am F C G
You’re impossible to find


Am                    F
This is not what I intended
   C                                      G
I always swore to you that I would never fall apart
Am                            F
You always thought that I was stronger
     C
I may have failed
                          G
But I have loved you from the start
 F         G
Oh, But hold your breath


   C                                   Am
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
F
Over again
                G
Don’t make me change my mind
 C
I won’t live to see another day
Am
I swear its true
   F                              G
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

It's impossible


Am      F      C
So breathe in so deep
G        Am
Breathe me in
F         C
I’m yours to keep
G               Am
And hold onto your words
F         C
‘Cause talk is cheap
G           F
And remember me tonight
When you’re asleep


   C                                   Am
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
F
Over again
                G
Don’t make me change my mind
    C
Or I won’t live to see another day
Am
I swear its true
   F                              G
Because a girl like you is impossible to find


C                                   Am
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
F
Over again
                G
Don’t make me change my mind
 C
I won’t live to see another day
Am
I swear it’s true
   F                              G
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
              (C)
You’re impossible to find

Credit:
http://guitartabkills.blogspot.com/2008/10/fall-for-you-guitar-chord-by-seconhand.html

once in a year

No matter how you say it,it still hurts.
I can do nothing but to accept it.
Yet,I can't help myself from falling.

A or B?

曾经明目张胆的在部落格写情书示爱，自以为的浪漫，肉麻得很。没有开始没有结局的明恋。
当.....
Missing you makes me happy,so why not I just continue missing you.
这是很单纯的喜欢，很简单的恋着，没有希望回报，不会有心痛的感觉。
可是当......
I'm missing you like crazy,but will you even think about me?
这很不简单，每想到那个人心里就会愁，没信心没尊严，悲伤哀伤。
单纯的喜欢，不就好了吗？可是人总是自私，总是会有所期望。结果，还是算了。A,继续恋着，B,失望换绝望的死心。
光明正大恋着你？我可以吗？是不应该的，就算大家都叫我老大。
你看，都叫你远离我了，还说我懦夫，现在我还真想逃到没有你的地方。

我们是矛盾体，不喜欢当女生，更不喜欢当贱男人。
‘如果你是男的......’
拜托，如果我是男的，你就不会考虑我了。因为我的性格我的一切都会不一样了。
对，我是对男生有偏见，因为我不是男的。少了一条东西多了一些脂肪，所以我不会用下半身思考。
我一直处于劣势。他们说我的公主还没有出现。我觉得就算公主出现了我还是会处于劣势。
我恨我自己不是男的吗？我最多恨我自己的身高。
我选择A，目前。

R.I.P.

Remember that a cute kitty that I mentioned in my blog last few months ago? The Siamese kitten. He was not a kitten anymore,a big grown cat now,but still cute. The Indian family that lives opposite called him Spotky or Spotty,something like that. But now he's gone. I found him laid death outside just now,when I walked Milky. He's dead,for unknown reason,he was not breathing anymore. I suspect he might be knocked down by vehicle,as he was born imperfect in terms of physical. Whoever his murderer is, I curse that he or she to be a stray cat next life. I know there are many of us that love this cat. I feel sorrow that he was not buried with dignity,as there are no tools for us to dig the ground. I didn't dare to look at him. I mourn. R.I.P.,Spotky or Spotty.

Volleyball competition tomorrow at 8am until 8pm,have to wake up at 6am. I'm the captain and setter again. I don't feel good,a bit stress. Looking forward to have a nice match tomorrow.

-How I wish that I'm a guy at that moment -

yea rite

I was google-ing on net for my group project topic,and I found this!
Islamic Clerics In Malaysia Rule To Ban Tomboys
Yea rite,come and try us.

shit happens

Shit happens all the time and how you deal with it?
Use toilet paper or newspaper?
WRONG ANSWER!
The right answer is, not to emphasize on the shit. Life still goes on and it would be better if you just concentrate on what makes you happy today rather than what shits happen on you.
Meaningful right? I learned that from Peer Support Group's Search-in Camp. It was fun and educational camp, I did some very embarrassing stuffs that you don't want to know =.-''

Sometimes feel so tired of covering up stories and hiding myself, although I don't lie when people actually come and ask me the question,but I choose not to be high-profile or show-off of myself.
Okay la okay la,I'm gay. So what? XD
Been having some thoughts about the issue again lately, which related to what I wanna become in future. I want to help people like us,because we are helpless at most time.
So next time when I put 'great, I'm teaching someone that I like how to reject me' on my msn personal message,don't ask me which guy. It won't be a guy. I don't like people linking me up with a guy. It sounds gay to me although I'm not a hard butch.

To ignore,or not to be ignored? That's the question.
Better if I just ignore you than you ignore me? Herm... I wish I could.
You're my current shitty shit and internal conflict. I know the circumstances,yet I couldn't hold myself. I'm no coward,you have no idea how much courage it took for me to make that request. I thought it's better off that way but I'd neglected your feeling. It was selfish for me to make that request, but it's not cowardice.
Now,I think I shall just go with the flow.

sleepy day and boring night

I'm too lazy and sleepy to do anything,so instead of writing the career guidance's journal,I'm doing this tag by Uncle Michie. See how bored I am now.

1. What’s your ambition?

To earn money while doing the things i like~

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
both

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
once before but never again

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
nope,i'm low profiler

5. How many babies you want?
i wan puppies

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
not after every rain.but yeah,that's a fact what.

7. What is your goal for this year?
i don't have 1,too late to have one now~

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
yeah,i love my dogs

9. Do you enjoy traveling? *yes i know this quest is nothing got to do with Love*
yeah,but i dun like being in transportation,especial public transport.

10.What feeling do you love most?
able to lay down on my bed after a long tiring day

11. What is your bad habit?
lazy-ness,XD

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the ppl who hates you?
emmm,nope,i dun mind

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yeah,if they really take me as their friend.

14. What does flying means to you?
means up up high in the sky~

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
my bed

16. Who do you think is hotter, Chace Crawford or Kevin Peaker?
me hotter,XD

17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
kacau-able,tease-able,uncle-ish,truly penengese!

18.What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
play with milky

9. What will u become in another 10 years to come?
A MIGHTY CRAZY PSYCHOLOGIST,WAKAKAKA. Kidding~counselor maybe?or working in company,herm...

20. What is ur lucky number?
3?

I'm not tagging anyone~

random pics

Jeng jeng jeng jeng~Here comes the Milky~

Look at her cute innocent puppy eyes~so adorable and so 'guai'~

This photo was taken on the day I brought her home.Was in Y.Hui's car on the way back to my place. She fallen asleep with her head rested on my palm~

This is a suger glider,not mine,but it's so cute!but Y.Hui called it 'monster' =.-''

What can you do with a jacket during lectures?

Use it to keep warmth+cover your face and you can sleep whenever you can as long as you don't snores XD

Hoodies are cooler because it covers your whole face and you can try to scare people~

Writing board of chair spoiled and I decided to do some good by alerting people about it:

(The signed n smiley was not from me!)

Anizo 11th series

Yes yes it's Anizo again,the latest 11th series,but I missed the 10th series...>,< Anyone have 10th series and wanna give me?XD~ 11th series is Olympic series. Again,I spent RM8 on two Anizos,and here's what I got.

Front view:The Silver Medalist,see the word '银'?

Back view:Second placing

Front view:The 'on-the-hoping-list'.There's Japanese word that I'm lazy to translate and there's '期待' means 'hoping'

Back view:Whole bunch of Japanese word that I don't understand

This Anizo was given by my housemate after I showoff my Anizo series in their room last night. It was the Anizo that makes me crazy about them. The earlier series which I forgotten first or second series.

'胃弱',means weak stomach or gastric,which reminds me of Y.Hui when I first saw it.

Back view:shape of stomach at the back

p/s:Yee Tong!I want your 10th series!!

Milky

Those who know me well will know that I love dogs. I'm a dog person. And now,I have TWO pet dogs!! My good old Mimi of course is still in my hometown,with my mom,and now I have MILKY here with me in PJ~

Few weeks ago,Y.Hui called me and asked me what will SPCA do to unwanted puppies. There were four puppies at the back door of her place. So she asked me what to do with the puppies. Chances for puppies to survive by their own in KL is very low,and of course I would wanted to keep all of them,only if i could. So,last friday,The Gang came and fetched me and bought everything for the pup before we went to Y.Hui's place to see which puppy that I wanted to take in. Conditions of the pups were not so well.Ticks,skin problems and smelly. But overall they're all healthy pups. OK so four pups,it's hard for me to choose,one black with brown marks,one black with white marks,one brownish brown,one yellowish light brown. Then two Indian teenagers showed up,they said the pups were belongs to them,their grandpa thrown the pups here because he hates dogs,now they're coming to take the pups back and swear that they'll kill their grandpa if he ever touches their dogs again -.='' Since we've bought everything needed for my pup,so I still decided to take the yellowish light brown pup,because she's the skinniest,smallest and worst condition among all. And her cute pupppy eyes just caught my attention.

And so,she's my Milky now~Why milky?because her ligtht brown whith a little bit white area makes her look like 'milk tea',also remind me of brilliant HL.

She's my responsibility and I'm all she got. She will be a good companion. It seemed not to be a bright choice to keep her because when holiday I'll back my hometown. But nevermind,there's always a way.

Thanks to Y.Hui and WanChun for their sponsers of dog shampoo and dog chain. Photos of Milky will be up soon~Just too lazy to transfer pictures from my hp now~Whisky whisky~Ah~I'll name my next dog Whisky.

It would be your fault if I fall for you,again.

B.Psych shirt!

With all due respect, I love B.Psych(Bachelor of Psychology Department,pronounce as B-Site), I really do. B.Psych makes me feel liked I'm home,it's so comfortable you see. I even feel sad when I knowed that our department was moving from Block E to Wisma Help. Once Block E belongs to psychology people,now it's not anymore and we have to scatter all over the place,lectures in Block E and tutorials in Wisma Help, how inconvenient! And I still love my B.Psych, we have the best lecturers and the cutest Dean ever. We have friendliest office administers and open style office. Yes we can just open the office door and kacau our lecturers whenever we want. But, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH S SIZE DEPARTMENT SHIRT!!!!

Department shirt was supposingly to be given to us FREE so that we can help to promote our department whenever we wear it out. I don't mind being a advertising tool, I'll proud to be one actually,for our B.Psych,BUT HOW AM I GOING TO WEAR AN OVERSIZED DEPARTMENT SHIRT OUT AND STILL FEEL PROUD OF MY OWN DEPARTMENT AT THE SAME TIME?IT'S EMBARRASSING! SIA-SUI!

Ok I'm shouting I know. Why am I so pissed? It's because tomorrow will be HELP's annual sports carnival,and we must wear our department shirts. I have the shirt, it's L-SIZE! And you know lah,I badan kecik mar,L-size is super large for me. So, even I already had the department shirt long ago but I never wear them. The shirt was supposed to make us feel proud when we wear them mar,not make us feel like an idiot that wearing oversized t-shirt. And it's obvious that we have more girls in our department,why la ordered so few S size? I just don't understand. My friend actually went and pressed them to give her a S size shirt,and they did =.='''.....Apala ni,bully us yang diam diam mia lah,then tunduk kepada yang assertive mia lah,so unfair~ You see la last year I played for HMC and they gave me another free department shirt again,I was so shocked and I asked the admin guy do I have to give it back and he said don't need it's for you. You see how generous?

Please la B.Psych big people,don't be so kiam siap(kedekut) lah,give us the size that we want,we happy,the department also happy mar~

I hate it when I have to wear overly large sized shirt to play volleyball,especially competition >,<''
So not yeng!

Promoting

The topic started from I said I cut hair,and few people from my class said I looked '帅' with new haircut. Then somehow HAIR related HL to CHRIS LEE!


Ok doesn't look much alike in those pics,but actually is much more alike when you see the MILK in person.
If you notice the similar characteristic:
-big head,lion hair,height,long thin hands and legs,small eyes lah~~~
HL=CHRIS LEE~wakakaka~
When I first met this HL,I can't help myself from smiling and shouting out 'LEE YU CHUN~'

OK,this entry is purely for entertainment.
And yes,few people said I 'lengzai' today,because of my new short hair.
I LIKE MY NEW SHORT HAIR~~~

p/s:
Chris Lee's new style:

I don't know what's her personal fashion stylist thinking. They're trying to make her look like a 'pondan' and '人妖' while they think she looks pretty in those dresses.
Poor Chris Lee~
HL quote this from somewhere:
女人是水做的，男人是泥做的，而李宇春，是水泥做的~
Perfect description and combination~

彩虹

放学后下着细雨，看着背景离去。
我喜欢太阳雨，
可是在驾着坐骑时下的太阳雨却不是很美很享受的一件事。
毛毛雨时的两个大彩虹，
令我想起了周杰伦的愿望。
我很乖，
隔着距离，
还能嗅到芒果香，
危险的象征。
今天有人叫我老大，
因为我比他帅，WAHAHAHA~

I got free Starbucks drink,Chocolate Cream Chips which priced RM14.20~
As PAYMENT for my countless-sleepless-counseling session-night la har~wakakaka~

fresh voice

From time to time,I will 'tanam' myself in YouTube and search for new voice. And today,these are what I found:

Virginie from France. She looks a bit like Max from TLW don't ya think so? BUT here's Virginie with long hair, and her own song 'Angel':

Beautiful and amazing voice she had.

And here's a cute punk girl from Singapore--talktothewalls. Cool name eh?haha~


And this is Alex Parks. Not a YouTube singer,but I still want to introduce her here XD

I just love her emo voice~

bullet and pistol

Haven't pull out the pistol but already executed. The worst part is, I didn't even plan to pull out the pistol =.-''
I'm still standing because I'm bullet-proofed now.
How smart-ass I am,knew the ending before it starts.

Listening to the same old sad song,and laugh on the same sampat person that caused us so much pain. How small is this world? Seems like there's linkage between everyone.
时过境迁，人事已非。
However,glad that someone's 'dream finally came true'. XD I'm happy for them~

extreme

I guess I'm such one extreme person.When I'm sleepy,either I'll become hyper,or I'll be emo.
So,the equations are:
sleepy kv=hyper kv @ emo kv

It gives my heart a funny feeling,whenever I see those pictures.
I'm happy for her,I guess.Yet,I feel sorry for myself,I'm not good enough.
It battered my self-esteem.It really did.It's not the first time thou.

I'm just craving for someone to be with me,that's all,I guess.
And I feel nothing I can do to get it.

To night

最近很容易说错话，阿姐说我很容易烦躁，ok现在我发现到了，还真的是......
我不想的啊~~~怎么就这样呢？也好像最近才会这样.......
词不达意，容易让人产生误会，得罪人，不是好事咧~
好，我会注意用词，少说话以免说错话。

Something is bothering me lately, I don't know what is that. Ah jie said I'm easy to get irritated recently,i guess she's right,I don't know what's the heck wrong with me -.='''

Being too free makes people lazy~
I need motivation and inspiration,again.

I'm easily attract to someone.

Sorry that I was not being able to help you clear up your mind,today.

Raining day

Imagine this,people:
Scene 1:
You're driving a car,waiting for traffic light to turn green,it was a raining day. Not to say jam, but the queue was long. Suddenly,there's a sound at the left,and you find you left side mirror was damaged,and the motorcyclist that scratched your mirror fall down at the roadside,not serious injured,but was soaked wet in the rain without raincoat,what would you do?

Scene 2:
You're riding a motor half way to home when(I know many of you don't even 'tumpang' a motor before,just imagine you're cycling lah) it started to rain heavily and you without your raincoat. Like usual,you drive at the roadside,try to bypass the cars,and suddenly you scratch a car's side mirror,you lost balance and fell down at the roadside. The car owner scrolls down the window and ask you to pay him for the damage on the car,without asking are you ok or not. What would you do?

It just happened to me 30 minutes ago. Sadly,I'm the motorcyclist,and I lost RM30 to that Chinese taxi driver.

No worries,just a little scratches on my left knee when I fall down,but overwhelmed by emotions.

The Chinese taxi uncle said to me his car side mirror was broken and I have to pay him because the car belongs to company. I asked him how much,he said RM30. The rain was heavy and didn't want to argue,and much because I was at guilt,so I gave him the money exactly although I did think of lying him that I only have rm20 in my wallet. The side mirror was not fully broken actually,and afterward only I realized it doesn't cost so much to repair that side mirror right?
The first thought that I had when I was on my motor again was,'damn ''sui'' lah today'. Then I got so angry thinking back what just happened.

Why was I so angry?
First,the Chinese taxi driver didn't even ask am I ok,and he took so much of my MONEY!I was damn disappointed. When I tried to get up my legs was abit stucked by my motor and nobody helped me. How naive was I,hoping someone to get off from their car and help me.

Second,the taxi driver doesn't even ask me am I ok!I was like what kind of people is this!What's wrong with this people!Malaysian lah!Chinese lah!Uncle lah!Taxi driver lah! People lost their ability to sympathize when they get older?

And Third,I was angry at myself. Always allow people people to take advantage of me when I was vulnerable,unable to be assertive,easily lost my head to think when something happens on me. Also of my own carelessness lah,I was not focused enough. I was thinking what to eat,when to fill in petrol and busy avoiding the roadside lubang until I didn't paid attention to the space between me and the cars on my right.

Then I remembered my previous post,about my motor broke down on the highway. Every event that occurred must meant something. And so,I cool down and analyzed my feelings.If I'm the car driver,I don't know how will I react also.
For this incident,I was lucky that it was not a serious accident.
I'm lucky that I just had a little scratch on my knee without other injuries.
I'm lucky I'm still alive.
I'm lucky that I'm feeling hungry now. XD


p/s:Today will be a great day without the incident.Anway,the PSG(Peer Support Group)'s PET(Peer Empowerment Training) was great today.We had fun and we learned stuff.
pp/s:KL road sucks!!I can't understand why are there so many drain cover's hole ON the roads!!Car drivers might not realize,but it's very irritating and dangerous for motorcyclists.